Scientists Confirm the Moon Has Been a Landlord This Whole Time
Reginald Thorne, the observatory
A thirty-day notice has been issued to Earth. Terms were not disclosed.
Researchers announced Thursday that the moon has, in fact, been a landlord for the entirety of recorded history, and that the tides constitute a form of rent collection.
The finding resolves several longstanding questions in the field and raises approximately nine hundred new ones, most of them legal. Investigators say the arrangement appears to have been month-to-month.
Earth has been advised not to contest the notice, as the moon holds the only copy of the lease and has held it in a stable orbit for four billion years.
We assumed it was gravity. It was, in the sense that all rent is gravity.
lead researcher
As broadcast: MOON: 30-DAY NOTICE ISSUED TO EARTH